True me

Well, I just got to know I'm the Window Shopper.

Main characteristics:
Random rash, bold, unpredictable. Makes decisions faster and less carefully than the average person
Gentle Kind, considerate, less than selfish the average person. Cares about the happiness of nearby people.
Love Love is subject's primary motivation.
Dreamer Relatively innocent. Unjaded. Possessing undiscovered potential. Evolving.

Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper.
You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come.
Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.
Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.

• Your exact opposite: The Stiletto (Deliberate - Brutal - Sex - Master)
• BEWARE: The Hornivore
• CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy

Thanks, Vega for the link! Now the inner me has been revealed.

Random

I wonder how far can a person go in cheating herself? What is that actually makes you realise, that's it - this is the point of no return? Or do I mean the point where the chance have already been missed? And if that happens is there really no way around or something still can be done?
Why is it so easy to be weak? So easy to be attracted aside? So easy to find excuses? And so damn difficult to follow the path I myself have conciously chosen?
Where are you, the logic? And where is my inner ass-kicker?

Do you feel the spring?

When was the last time you got flowers? Or held your window open for the whole day so that the fresh air could fill up your room? How often are you waken up by sun shining right into your eyes?

Go out and take a walk, no matter on the streets, in the forest or park. The birds are singing, nice breeze is blowing and the sun is just dazzling. The water is dropping from the roofs as snow is melting. The river is breaking its way thru the ice again. It's ok to wear shoes again, cos the roads are mainly dry. Besides you start feeling really weird discovering that your only suitable coat is black. Seems as it doesn't fit to the daylight at all.

And it all makes you so happy that you buy several orange coloured tulips just to bring some of the outside feeling into your room. The best time of the year has arrived!

Superb!

Hah, I just remembered that I haven't actually told you...
I got A for my 4th year paper !!! Yes, the same which I finished 40 minutes before the deadline. In Estonian context it means the highest positive grade possible :)
Hola!!! Life is cool afterall!

And now let me focus to another paper which is due on Monday (or actually Friday, I hope). I'm already filled in the title-page! What a progress!

Aah, and what a surprise! As I'm not able to go home for Easter holidays, the Easter Rabbit came to see me in Tartu! :):):) Thanks, mum, for all good things in his basket!

Hugs and happy holidays!

Life goes on

Recipe for getting over the depression:
-> take the time off
-> do not spend time with the things you don't really want to do
-> reflect on your feelings (e.g. tell your good friends how bad you're doing)
-> ignore everyone (e.g. switch off the phone)
-> drink two bottles on wine with 2 people you're not really usually hanging out with
-> go to Japanese restaurant with bounch of people you've hardly ever met
-> work
-> go to the cinema with your sister and have lunch with your mom
-> make steps for creating your future (e.g. apply for AIESEC traineeship)
-> be proud of being Estonian (e.g. wake up at dawn just to watch hoisting the national flag and hear the anthem on the independence day.)
-> later on refresh your memory about how you got the reindependence (e.g. watch a movie)
-> spend whole day skiing with your family
-> party all night at Uku's birthday
-> get nervous about the Review Board although you have been working for AIESEC for 5,5 years. Fail in the question "introduce Estonia to your collegues within 2 minutes". And then of course pass the interview.

-> Finally, add some coffee-talks with friends, a bit more work, good sleep and just lazy time according to your personal preference.

I can guarantee it works well. Tried out during last week :o)

Crazy times continue obviously, but it's ok. At the end, things don't always need to be perfect, but get happily done.